The observation began at 4:15 PM in the playroom. I sat on a chair as I observed the little boy first. The big boy was downstairs while the little boy was upstairs playing by himself. He was content playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtles. He was talking to himself as each turtle so that he could pretend that they were having their own conversations. He was building houses for the turtles out of magnetic tiles and using different modes of transportation to make sure each turtle got to it's designated work area to save the people. Throughout his playtime, he was using his mind in ways he did not even know that he was doing. He was building houses in different shapes and making connections within his mind about the turtles' communications and role-playing without anyone there to stop him. He did this for about fifteen minutes.
Once the big boy came upstairs, the little boy's play habits completely changed. He no longer could control what he played or how he played it; the big boy was now in charge. At first, he was very displeased to be there to play with the little boy (who is his younger brother). Eventually, the big boy allowed himself to accept that he had to play with his brother, but not before he chose what they were playing. He decided that the houses built were not up to his standards, so he rebuilt them and added a bathroom to the house. He then added a parking garage that had a specific method of operation. The little boy was using the parking lot in the wrong direction and the big boy explained to him that there was a specific way to use it. The little boy did not argue and used the parking lot the way it designed to be used.
The big boy quickly grew tired of playing with the turtles and tiles and moved on to playing kitchen and chef. The little boy, in almost a robotic manner, got up just as quickly and followed. They began making pizza and cakes; only the big boy made them because the little boy did not know how to make them correctly. After they made their pizzas and deserts, the big boy had to leave to go to a tutoring session. It was just the little boy and myself in the room now. Immediately, the little boy took off the chef hat and went back to playing with his turtle. He dissembled the houses and reassembled them to the way that he wanted them. He continued to want to play on his own and just asked that I watched.
Before observing their playtime behavior, I always thought that they played fairly, especially for two boys. After my observation, I quickly realized that this was not the case. The boys played better alone rather than together. The little boy became a follower when he had to play with his brother and his brother needed to feel dominating and in control of any game being played. Instantly, I understood why the little boy chose to play alone and have someone watch when his brother was not around. He liked to play what he wanted and how he wanted. He liked to have those few minutes to just do as he pleased. He would rather have me close to him watching him play rather than risk me play and ultimately gain control of the game.
As I continued to observe the boys, I began observing them through psychoanalytic lenses. In both cases, both boys experienced their unconscious surfacing without realizing. The older brother becomes dominating because that is the only time that he is the "bigger person". He has to obey the rules set up by his authorities, and when he plays with his brother, he is now the authoritative figure. The younger brother, on the other hand, understands that he will never be the authoritative figure. He knows that he is the young one and that he is the one that is expected to listen to all no matter their age. Because of this, he chooses to avoid a dominating authority when he can. He chooses to play alone so he can decide how he plays rather than be decided for him. Each boy, in their own way, experiences their unconscious desires coming to surface through this playing experience.
Completing this ethnography helped me to understand the play dynamic between these two boys. I now understand why the little boy would rather play alone than play with me; I always questioned why this was the case. I always believed he chose to not play with me because I am a girl and do not understand the rules of playing or because I just was not his brother; however, his desire to play alone was much deeper than that. He did not want to risk being dominated while playing by yet another person. With this understanding, I can now step in while the boys are playing and suggest that the big boy allow the little boy more say in games they partake in as well as how they are being played. I can now make the playtime dynamic that much stronger and help for both of them to be happy to play together rather than one dominating and the other following.